Fangirl
by magicdrusilla
Summary: What if...or...A dream comes true...next part can be find here: /s/8892516/1/Fangirl-reloaded
1. Chapter 1

Sorry, just a few words...

I´m from Germany and no native speaker.

If you see any mistake I would be happy if you could write me a short mail and let me know how to correct it.

* * *

"What the fuck?"

I stare at my black and dead Computer screen.

Since Monday I had been waiting for the long weekend.

Most of the customers at the gas station had been unbelievably annoying and huffy, because the prices for gas were rising again and they think that the girl at the counter was responsible for that. Yeah, of course...

Sometimes I have this daydream that my hot elf enters the place, then he would smile at me and put his blue glowing fist in the back of one of those customers...Oh yeah, I would totally appreciate that...Fenris..

And then there was the evening rush hour traffic to manage. The weather was all dark and bleak.

Fall will take the land soon. Now the time is perfect to sit down and have some playing time with your favorite game.

As a matter of fact, I only wish to help my Hawke save Kirkwall again, there are so many things I didn´t try but then I always stick with this hot white haired god of an elf...

I must admit that my social life had suffered a little bit, but at the moment I don´t care about this.

Hacked off, I sink into my very comfortable office chair and beat my keyboard with my fingers again and again.

But nothing happens.

This damn Computer is dead.

As I look around the room to the little window there I notice that all the other houses are dark too. No lights at all. Blackout!

Oh that´s perfect.

But there is one good thing about it, my computer is not broken. It took me so long to save the money for that damn thing.

All the sudden there is this thought in my mind: When did I last save the game?

Oh that´s so typically me. I wanted to beat the game in hard mode. And in that mode the game doesn´t save on its own.

Perhaps it has something to do with Fenris because every time my Hawke has to talk to him, I save the game before so I can at least try all the options.

And this guy is a toughie.

But that is the very thing that fascinates me about him.

Then it hits me, oh yeah right, I just gave Merrill the Arulin´holm to repair the Eluvian mirror.

I left Fenris at home for this quest cause I didn´t want to risk getting any enemy points from him.

A hearty yawning makes me look to my watch. Oh man, how long did I play this time?

Perhaps this forced break isn´t the worst thing right now.

Sometimes, when I play for too long I feel like being a computer figure myself.

I go to my bathroom and take a look in the mirror. There it is, the cruel reality.

Not even in the half dark I find myself very attractive.

My figure is normal, I´m nearly 5 feet high and my dark brown hair is a mess without any fashion style.

There is my elf again before my inner eye and with this the thought of him sappy smile on my lips.

This guy is so gorgeous and perfectly good looking but still has this broody-thing going on which drives me nuts.

Since I had bought the game one year ago, he had always been the one to capture me like no other character.

If I didn´t know better, I would say he put a spell on me….

It´s still dark in my little apartment and I feel tired.

A little nap would be nice, just until the power is back.

I take out my smartphone. Set an alarm and put it back in the trouser pocket of my jeans.

I wake up because of a bright light coming from the room with my PC. How cool is that! The power is back. Gaming time again…

I get up the couch and go directly to the room.

Then I realize were the light is coming from, I rub my eyes and stand there rooted to the spot, what I see can´t be…

In the middle of my room there is a big vertical hole in the air, from with the light is coming. Then I look closer and see a beautiful woman on the other side and her as are filled with concern.

My eyes must play a dirty trick on me. So I close them but the woman is still there and this is without any doubt Merrill!

She sits on the other side and stares at me with her wonderful big dark green eyes.

"Oh no, that wasn´t any good…" is all the elfen woman said.

Okay that´s it, I feel like a complete and utter fool, but I have to do it nevertheless. I step a little bit closer to the mirror and call her by her name.

"Merrill?"

The elfin flinches and I feel a pull, followed by a big bang, and then I land on all fours on a hard wooden floor.

After closing my eyes automatically, I open them again just to see that I´m in Merrill's hut from the game.

But now it is real, there are no pixels at all. The elfen woman stands there, her staff against her body to protect her.

"Who are you?" she asks with caution.

I turn around and see the Eluvian mirror behind me and it´s still glowing. God, can that be? Sarah, wake up, you must be dreaming!

Again I take a look at the elfin and damn she is real and so much more beautiful than in the game.

"I…oh my God…where am I? I swear, when I wake up now I won't play for the next weeks…"

"What are you talking about?"

Carefully I stand up. And I notice her sight on me.

"What odd clothes you wear!"

I rub my forehead and pinch myself.

"I want to wake up now, please."

"But you are awake and it seems to me that you are a little confused, too?"

Crazy, I think I´m crazy, I try to restart my brain again and give a résumé…

Playing game, power blackout, slept, sent through the Eluvian to Kirkwall…

"Ok! Sarah it´s official, you are bonkers, that can´t be real."

But on the other hand if it´s not real, why do I still look so normal?

Usually when I dream, I am a vamp, looking all hot and sexy and driving all the men crazy. And to dream of Merrill wouldn´t be my first choice for sure.

"Are you talking to yourself often?"

The elfin is more relaxed now, maybe she finds me amusing.

"Where am I?" I guess I just want to hear it again.

"You are in Kirkwall, in my hut and I must admit that something with my spell went wrong."

"That sounds good to me. Your spell went wrong, perhaps that's the reason why I´m here."

"You are talking a bit strangely!"

"Oh, this is because I was taken from my real world to this virtual world…"

"What are you talking about? This is the real world!"

Merrill steps up to me and touches my shirt with the Dragon Age Logo on it. Hello! How surreal is that?

Now I can see her eye to eye there are no pixels for sure. I see her forreal, she´s breathing and her hair smells very good.

Ok that´s too much, I need a break...BLACKOUT.

"Daisy, what have you done?"

"That is extraordinary. Not to mention the clothing."

Damn, I know these voices, but I can´t believe it.

Very slowly I open my eyes; first one eye, then the other.

Good God! Anders is kneeling beside me and he looks into my eyes with his wonderful warm brown eyes.

Varric's look is curious. And he shakes his head in disbelief.

I try to get on my feet but I do so very clumsily.

Anders smiles at me as he sees my unhandy moves.

"You really are not from here!" He says casually.

Alright… where is the dialogue wheel when you need it?

**Diplomatic?**

**Helpful?**

**Humorous? **

**Charming?**

**Agressive?**

**Flirt?**

No, I have to figure out what to say by myself. Perfect, I am so very known for being quick at repartee.

"Well, my clothing is not as stylish as yours, Anders!"

"I told you, she has a strange way of speaking." Merrill looks to Anders.

"If Broody finds out about this, it could be a problem."

Wide-eyed I stare at the dwarf, I go to the table in the corner and hold myself up with my arms.

"F-Fenris?" I stare into blankness, how should stop myself from drooling once I see that fucking hot elf eye to eye?

Perhaps I will look at him completely awestruck. How often did I dream about those nasty dirty things I want to do with him? And he always really liked it!

All the sudden the tune that´s coming from my pocket sends me back to "reality".

Dammit cell phone!

Very slowly I turn around to see Anders, Merrill and Varric and they are ready to attack me.

"Please, there is no danger at all, this is only my smartphone; I had prepared my alarm…"

Sarah, what are you talking about? Smartphone? Alarm-clock? But how can I explain this to them?

"Please, this is harmless, really. I have taken it with me from my world. I only have to switch it off." I search their faces for any doubt.

Very slowly I pull the cell phone out of my pocket and switch the alarm off, then I take a look at the display…no mobile reception…of course not. If it had been different, I would totally recommend the following slogan for the next marketing campaign for my media company:

"_If you __ever get lost in your favorite computer game, _

_don´t worry: With "Mobile Nerd" you will receive calls even in Kirkwall."_


	2. Chapter 2

I smile about this thought.

"What by the Creators is this thing?" Merrill is the first to give up "angry mode" and curiously steps in my direction.

Oh good Sarah! How can you explain this to them…

"This is how we can stay in contact in my world!"

"Oh, so you don´t see your friends eye to eye?" The elven woman asks thoughtfully.

Bingo….she had brought it right to the point.

To be honest, since there are smartphones and all those social networks the face to face contact had almost vanished entirely.

And quite often the contact is reduced to 160 signs or less…

"Oh, of course we try to stay in personal contact but you know our lives are very busy." I quickly answer and also a bit embarrassed.

Anders and Varric are coming closer and look at my smart phone as well.

"It does not work...here...in Kirkwall. " This still sounds funny to me.

"But there was a melody coming out of it." Anders concludes correctly.

"Yes, before I fell asleep, I set an alarm, so I would know when to get up again."

Before I speak, I carefully think over every word that comes to my brain before it leaves my mouth so that none would be too new or too technical for them, in order to allow them to understand what I am talking about, so they can be sure that I pose no threat whatsoever.

"By the way my name is Sarah."

"What shall we do with you, sweety?"

The dwarf affectionately caresses his crossbow.

I have to smirk because a lot of things are coming in my mind, but they all have to do with Fenris...

No, not now Sarah! Logical thinking, I need you here!

"You like your Bianca a lot, right?"

I can see that Varric shivers.

"How do you know her name?"

While I turn off my mobile, I think about how to explain this to them.

"How can I explain that? In my world you are characters." I take a deep breath..."from a game." I wait for a response/reaction.

"That is no game, girl, this is the bloody reality and we have to fight day by day to survive." Anders looks really pissed...

"No, yes, I mean for you it´s no game. But for my world it is."

I look at Merrill, maybe she will understand what I mean. Her eyes are on me and she seems to think about something.

"Anders, could you please take a close look at Sarah, does she remind you of someone?"

The mage´s deep brown eyes lie on my face and I feel very uncomfortable. I´m not used to being closely examined by such a handsome guy as Anders for such a long time.

"Hawke!" the dwarf shouts out.

"Indeed, she really looks a bit like Hawke, maybe they are related to each other?" Anders was nodding thoughtfully.

Hello, are you nuts, I should look like Hawke?!

Are you crazy or something like that?

Sure, I had tried to make Hawke resemble me a bit, but my Hawke is way more beautiful and so much cooler than I could ever be.

OK! She has brown hair and brown eyes, that´s it.

I shake my head in disbelief and wince as I hear a knock on the door...

"Merrill, are you home?" A husky, female voice sounds from the outside.

Anders grabs my wrist and pulls me into Merrill's Bedroom.

"Hey, you, we haven't even dated yet."

Yikes! Where had that come from?

I take my breath to apologize to him but Isabela appears in the room.

Wow! This woman is beyond hot! Her being there, standing there in this room sexed up the atmosphere in here to no limits.

"What is happening here?" she asks and one of her eyebrows rises up.

Anders lets go of my wrist and walks to the pirate.

"Merrill repaired the Eluvian and something went wrong!"

"Oh dear maker, what about those clothes that poor little girls wears?"

Isabela shakes her head in disbelief and with a little bit disgust…

"Don´t you want to be recognized as a woman, Kid?"

Oh, that is sooo Isabela; did she even listen to what Anders had said?

"She is from another dimension and, take a close look, she looks a bit like Hawke, don't you think?

Isabela swings her hips while she moves in my direction.

My mouths falls open wide, where can you learn to walk like that?

She looks in my face thoughtfully and then tucks a strand of my hair back behind my ear, as it was hanging to my face.

"Well…perhaps with a lot of fantasy…since Hawke sleeps with Fenris again, I guess all women look like Hawke for you…"

She turns to Anders, walks to him sexily and appealing, strokes his upper body with one of her fingertips and looks him straight in the eye.

"I could be your Hawke…sweetheart."

As I watch the scene I try to remember how this had been in my game! Oh, yes, sure. After the one night with the elf, my Hawke had had a small intermezzo with Anders. I was angry about myself because to get Fenris back you have to live like a virgin.

The only exception is the lovely Isabela, she can have them all…but something did change now. Hawke was back together with Fenris! Damn, she´s is a lucky child.

Anders looks pissed.

"Don´t you think we have more imported stuff to do? We need to bring her to Hawke!"

"Yes, you're right, but she can´t go out of the house looking like that. I can borrow you some things to wear. I think we can somehow squeeze you in them.

"This shirt makes me look fatter than I am." Now I am pissed.

The Pirate rolls her eyes and leaves the hut.

"Can I have something to drink, please?" My throat feels dry like the desert.

"Oh, by the Dread Wolf, how could I be so rude?" Merrill hastily flits to her small sideboard, takes a mug and fills it with a liquid.

"I am so terribly sorry for my inattention, that is some herbal tea, sorry it´s cold, but hopefully you like it…" She hands me the small mug.

I take a small sip. Oh wow, how long since I had drunk real herbal tea? Sometimes, I only live of coffee…

"Oh, yes thanks it tastes fantastic, I mean very good."

Again, there is a knock on the door. Isabela is back and something lies in her arms; maybe that should have been clothes, but it seems not very full grown.

Under her other arm she has some beautifully decorated leather boots.

"Well then, follow me; I will help you with this."

Duh! Why must it be the perfect Isabela that wants to help me? For a moment, I feel sent back to my school days and the sports lessons. The most perfect girls in the class standing half naked in front of the mirror searching for that one gram of fat on their perfect bodies and cry out until someone like me, the definitely not so slim girl, praises them: Oh, no, look at you, you are perfect and sooo slim..."

Please, I want Varric to help me with this; he is smaller and fatter than me...

Unwillingly, I follow the pirate into Merrill's bed chamber.

Isabela closes the door behind us.

"So, let us see what is hidden under this loose clothes, darling?"

Before I take my clothes off, I introduce myself to her.

"Oh great you have the same first name as Hawke, one more similarity!"

Is she´s making fun of me...?

I open the buttons on my jeans and the too wide pants glide to the floor.

Quickly, I pull my shirt over my head and with this the hair tie that held my messy hair in a ponytail comes off.

Isabela looks up and down my body in interest.

"Well! Look at you, under all this cloth, there really is a bonny lass."

Whhaatt? Bonny lass! Have I heard this correctly?

I look down at my body and tuck back one of my hair wisps that keeps falling in my face. Then I look back to Isabela. She is smiling at me.

"And look how nice your underclothing is"

The pirate touched the soft cloth of my bra.

I don´t know who or what made me put on my most beautiful and expensive lingerie this morning, but whatever it was, I thankful for all of eternity...

It is not that often that the two pieces of my underclothing match each other.

"Yep, we wear this in my world." I tell her, so proud that I must have grown at least three inches.

Isabela hands me a blue tight tunic. I look at that piece of cloth and put it on.

It really suits me. Back home I never ever would have worn something like that...

"That does not look that bad." Isabela takes the well-worn corset from the table where she had left the clothes before and puts it around my belly.

"Now, it will get a little bit uncomfortable." Isabela pulls hard on the corsage strings and my tummy, which was marked under the tunic, vanished instantly for a quite presentable waist.

That I actually have something like a quite presentable waist, that only I noticed at that very moment.

"Alright, now put on the skirt and boots, then you can go outside."

The skirt is knee-long and I´m happy for that.

I sit down on Merrill´s bed to put on those marvelous boots. Oh I noticed that I´m only wearing socks.

Oh, of course, "don´t lie on the couch while wearing shoes" I hear my mother say.

I wrinkle my nose as there is a strong leather aroma coming from the boots.

The pirate amusedly looks in my direction.

"They are from Antiva, given to me by a friend of mine."

Oh-my-God, my heart skips some beats and I look to her like some lost puppy.

"Zevran? Did Zevran give you the boots?"

There's still no sound of my heart. Hello, heart, could you please go on!

You are not one of these fashion – victim girls, who would die for clothing.

No, Sarah you are a fangirl = nerdy girl, that falls in love with some fictive character from a computer game! The only question is what quirk is worst?

Mine is cheaper any day, that's for sure.

"Yes, the boots are a present from him!"

OK, Sarah! You don't need to get a heart attack here just because you have the boots of the by far hottest blond elf of just fucking all time in your hands.

My heart seems to think the same and goes to work again.

"What is he like?" I ask anxiously, but try to let it sound as casual as possible.

"Oh, Zevran is great. He really does everything to make you happy and he does not stop until you have reached a gigantic orgasm…he knows what a woman needs…"

Oops! I know that Isabela is blunt and I did ask.

I have to smirk about the scene that comes to my head: Her as she asks Fenris whether he put oil on his body so he would glisten for Danarius.

"I think it's about time he could stop by for some sexaction. I wrote him a decade ago." Isabela says in a clearly pissed off-tone.

I put the boots on and they fit my perfectly.

My mind says goodbye for this thought that comes to my brain, what if I would click those heels together three times? Maybe I would land directly in Zevran´s arms or bed…

It did work with Dorothy; a land named OZ or a Man named Zevran that should be equal…

Maybe I will try this later when no one watches me.

Isabela takes Merrill´s hairbrush and combs my stroppy hair.

Then she binds it to a ponytail and looks happy and proud of herself.

"Now we will show you to the others." I follow her with a new way of moving. My hips are moving as if they suddenly knew what to do, also the boots enclose my feet harder than my worn out sneakers I wear day by day.

Anders stands in front of the Eluvian with sorrow on his face.

Merrill and Varric are sitting on the table and quietly talk to each other.

"Oh look at you! You really are looking great." Varric smiles at me.

"Yes, for sure we can go to Hawke without being recognized because of your different look. Come on, let's go now."

The mage walks to the door and we all follow him.

The Alienage with the big old tree in the middle of the square opens before my eyes. All those beautiful elves running around everywhere to do whatever they do.

"You should close your mouth otherwise you will have to swallow those insects flying inside." Varric smirks at me.

I try but it´s hard. It´s a bit like back then when I had been in New York for a student exchange. My mouth had been open for an entire week and I almost dislocated my jaw.

I follow the others. God they are fast, even Varric with his short legs.

As I see the one billion steps that would lead us to the Hightown, I stand there with my mouth open, jaw dropping to the floor...

How often did I completely needlessly send them up and down those steps?

I want to say sorry for that, but I don't.

I am almost ready to crawl on all fours to climb these stairs, but finally I see the end of them. Even the dwarf is still in a good mood and they are still talking and seem to have fun. And I swear once again, that I will go to the gym in the future.

"How do you take all these steps and can still be smiling?"

"That is only a matter of exercise." Anders replies with a smirk and helps me with the last steps.


	3. Chapter 3

We approach Hawke's manor and knock on the door.

My stomach is twisting and turning and then the realization why hits me:

Not very far from here lives that hot Elf. And he will probably kill me in an instant as soon as he sees me, because I was brought here by magic.

But at least he would touch me once, so I could die happily nonetheless…

Bodahn opens the door.

"Master Anders, what can I do for you?"

"I have to talk to Hawke."

"The Lady is not at home, I did not see here the whole day."

"Do you know where she could be?"

"No, I am afraid not, she did not tell me, but Master Fenris was here in search of her as well."

"She is not with him?" Isabela asked irritated "I thought the both of them had something to catch up.

Merrill giggles behind her hands about Isabela´s words.

Bodahn's look reflects at me.

"I thought the lady's sister is in the Gallows?"

Does the dwarf really think I am Hawke's sister?

"No, Bodahn, she´s not Hawke's sister, she´s a friend of mine who visits me here and wants to meet the champion of Kirkwall."

Oh, if Isabela would know what I really want to do and with whom, I think she would join in.

Again I see the white-haired Elf in my daydream and this time Zevran is part of this fantasy as well…I smack my lips with pleasure and look to the street lamp on the corner.

Yes, there they would take me…

"Hello, are you there?" Isabela pokes my side.

I blink a number of times, to gather all my senses again.

Only now I notice that we are walking again.

"What, you don´t want to go to Fenris, do you?"

I gaze nervously at Anders.

"Believe me, that is the last place where I want to be, but I think he knows where Hawke is. Please, only speak if he asks you something and try to sound a bit like Isabela, because you're supposed to be her friend from Rivain."

But of course! As if I was be able to get anything out of my mouth apart from some grunting or similar noises as soon as I see Fenris face to face. I will perhaps just go red and pass out…

We get to Fenris' manor.

Ok, I have to save the game first…oh dear lord, I can´t save this, it´s real life…

Isabela knocks at the door. I want to hide behind something.

No, Sarah! Pull yourself together! You not a child of three years anymore!

"Sweetie, are you home?" She purrs

There is this big fat lump in my throat and it is not moving. But I try to breathe normally.

I think I hear steps approaching, but it is only the pumping of blood in my ears.

Anders opens the door and barks "Fenris?"

"What do you want?" The hottest voice I ever heard sounds through the estate.

This elf could read phonebooks and I would hang on every word he says.

"We are in search of Hawke. Is she with you?" Anders voice sounds a bit strange, maybe jealous.

"No, I thought she is with you."

Suddenly Fenris appears at the door of his room and he looks down into the hall with concern. PUPPYEYESALARM! Even from the distance and with my bad eyes I can see them. He looks absolutely mind-boggling.

I swallow hard and notice that my mouth waters and all those nasty other parts.

Keep your temper! Get a hold of yourself! His eyes are on my face and my knees become week. I see that he frowns. Oh my god, how cute.

I try to restrain myself so as not to jump from one leg to the other like a small girl.

No, Sarah. Stay there. I want to slap my face but that would probably not be so well received at this moment.

"Who is this?"

"She is a friend of mine, cutie." Isabela knows how this game works.

For a moment I lean on Isabela.

"Like I said, his is a fucking hot elf, kiddo, and he can glow in the dark."

A growl comes from Fenris and he slowly goes down the stairs.

God! It is getting so hot in here. My mouth is dry because all fluid has gone to a very different place of my body, but the one good thing about this is that I at least cannot drool.

I look away for a moment to cool down my eyes, I see that Anders' glance is on my face and he seems to think about something because he too frowns.

I blink and look to Fenris again and now he´s only some inches away from me and he is looking curiously at me.

"A friend of Isabela?" he asked after a little while "What is your name?"

Oh, yes, that is a good question, what was my name again, that one given to me by my parents. I think it was something with S, I believe! Think! Gosh, dam it!

I open my mouth hoping something will come out, but there is nothing. I only look with my eyes wide open and clear my throat.

"Her name is Sarah." Anders finally interrupts the silence.

Oh yes, that is my name.

I harrumph again and nod fast.

" Yes I am Sarah." How cool is that, I actually said something.

And now I am as red as a lobster and I am sure I look like Flemeth the dragon.

Fenris cocks his head and I squeal with joy.

"Sorry the air is really dry here."

The Elf´s eyes narrow to small slits, but then he hands me something.

He is holding a bottle of wine in my direction.

Now I know how fans are feeling when they purchase a half-eaten up toasted slice of bread from their favorite Star in an auction.

"Can I?" Now I cock my head, too. What you can, I can do twice! But unfortunately I will never look so good doing it.

Slowly I go in his direction. My heart is hopping through my whole body.

Right foot first, then the left foot, always one after the other! You, crazy fangirl,you.

I´m stand there and look at him just inches away from him.

He hands me the bottle and I grab it.

Touch him, you silly cow, come on, do it.

But I only take the bottle and I feel the strong urge to lick that bottle neck.

No, just drink some wine!

Ick! That wine is gross and so bitter!

Or whatever those wine-slurping dress-for-less idiots called sommeliers like to say.

I shiver from the bitter taste and hand the bottle back to him. His slender fingers touch my hand. Alright, now I will never ever wash this hand again.

Before my inner eye I slam that bottle to the ground and lay my legs around the elf´s hip and kiss him hard and impassionate.

"You want more?"

"Yes…" I moan as it hits me that he means the wine and not what he does in my fantasy right now. Oh dammit.

"No, thank you." I say quickly

He shakes his head and with this movement some of his white hair strands hang in his face.

Oh well, I almost forgot about these.

I peep around.

Isabela seems to understand every thought/fantasy I just had and looks at me with a dirty smirk.

"So you didn´t saw Hawke today?" The mage seems to try hard to sounds clam.

"No, I don´t know where Sarah is!"

Oh, he did say my name, even if he does not mean me at all, but it sounds too good. Please, say it again…You horny elf you…

"Mmhh!" is Anders answer.

Again he looks at me "I think we will look in Darktown, maybe she went to see me." His says that to Fenris with some aggression in his voice.

"I will tell you when she _comes_." The elf answers with a rare smirk upon his lips.

Oh! You little dirt bag you, for a short moment I feel sorry for Anders, but then I have to admire this heavenly smile.

We leave the manner and Anders he looks at Fenris really viciously and then slams the door shut behind him. I can really bring my leg to walk!

"Let´s go to Hawke."

"But she is not home!" Merrill and Varric say the same.

"Oh I´m sure she is." Anders replies quickly

And there we are again. After a knock on the door Bodahn opens and smiles at us.

"Master Anders, did you find the lady?"

"I´m sorry, Bodahn we didn´t find her, but maybe we can wait here till she comes back?"

"Sure." The dwarf steps beside and invites us in.

Hawke's manor smells wonderfully fresh and a fire burns in the fireplace which fills the room with warmness.

Anders walks over to me and looks deep into my eyes.

"I have to talk to you, Sarah!" His voice sounds serious.

I nod and follow him.

The others seem to know of his plans, because no one says something, not even Isabela.

The second time on this day Anders leads me into a bedroom. He closes the door, after I stepped in. This is Hawke's bed camber in which we are right now. Anders runs nervously up and down the room. Hey, you copycat, this is Fenris' part.

"Tell me about the world you came from…you said that we are a game or something like that in you world?"

What, I pull my thoughts away from that bed. This night had happened here. Four times I had played the game to achieve my goal that my Hawke would nail Fenris and then the important scene was cut out! NARF.

I try to concentrate so I could answer that question as accurately as possible.

"Yes, all of you, everything here is fictitious, not real in my world. We can rest with this game from our daily life. We can escape the daily grind and be someone else.

In my world I am a little shop assistant, but in this game I could be a mage, rogue or even a warrior. And it is awesome to relax with such a game sometimes.

Unfortunately dragons, dwarfs and elfs don´t exist in my World.

"Who are you?" Anders pulls my again out of my thoughts.

"What do you mean by that?"

"In the…" he paused before continue speaking…"game?"

And then suddenly I get what he is aiming at. But that cannot be, or can it?

"Hawke" it comes meekly from me.

His wonderful brown eyes meet mine and then he nods.

"When Merrill brought you to us with the mirror, Hawke vanished!" his voice stumbles.

"You mean that I am here instead of Hawke?" Wow! That sounds crackbrained!

"Yes, I think that is what happened! But there is one question left: Where is Hawke now?"

My brain starts to work, but he will not like what comes out of it.

"Anders, I don´t know much about magic and all that, but on every new game we begin, we can create a new Hawke, so I think that your Hawke does not existed anymore."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I have made her, like I wanted her to be or how I imaging I would look like being a warrior. I have made all of her decision.

He puts his hand in front of his mouth in shock and tries to breathe normally.

But Anders' eyes reveal that he understands what I mean, what I am talking about.

"Maybe you could ask Justice?" Hey, Sarah, that is an excellent idea. Before my inner eye I pat myself on the back with pride.

"Sarah, I did that long ago! We had this idea together. He also told me that you are Hawke and not a demon."

"Anders, how long do you know?" I look at him perplexed.

"A little while. But I must admit that the elf helped me with the decision."

"Fenris?"

"It seemed a very odd thing that he handed you his bottle of wine! In case you did not notice, he has a little problem with trust! I think that he feels something in you so he could forget about his suspiciousness."

I stare at Anders and my mouth drops open. That's right! Fenris would never ever be so open with someone he does not know.

I´m nodding and can´t burke a yawn. I look to Anders apologetically who smiles at me like an angel.

"Let´s meet here tomorrow morning and then we will see what to do. Have a good night's rest, Sarah."

I look at him befuddled. And he answers my frank question directly.

"Please, that is your bed, take a rest, I will inform Bodahn."

Anders leaves the room and closes the door behind him, than I am listening to his going down the stairs.

I´m alone in Kirkwall, in Hawke's bedroom- No I _am_ Hawke... I´m probably sitting in some rubber room banging my head against the wall…BUFFY says hello.


	4. Chapter 4

I look around the room and find a chest that stands at the wall of the room close to the door. I kneel down next to it and open it. The red casual outfit that Hawke uses to wear while she is at home is in the chest. I close it again, go to the bed and put the blankets beside and underneath it I find shorts and a shirt, which she probably puts on before going to bed.

I have to yawn again and begin to take off the clothes Isabela gave to me. I open the wardrobe and in it I find a lot of other clothing like black leather pants and light chain armor as well as a long sword that is leaned against the wall of the closet as if it had been waiting for me. I have never been so close to a weapon before and as I take it in my hands, the runes on the hilt begin to shimmer and a prickle travels through my arm. Gently, I put it back and take a look at Hawke's dresses. She has a pretty good taste.

The things I was wearing today, including my underwear, I store into the wardrobe as well and close its door.

I go back to the bed, sit down at its side and put on the nightdress. While doing so, I rapidly review this crazy bitch of a day. I shake my head, let myself fall back on the bed and roll over on my side. Then I immediately fall asleep…

My dreams are filled with strange things like mirrors, magic and fights, blood and pain. Bereavement, death and friendship, this dream feels like an endless sprint. Why can´t I just dream about my one or two favorite elves?

I feel tender lips at my neck; finally, it was about time for the sun to rise up…

And I did not even have sex with Fenris yet. But I knew he would not forsake me.

"Good morning beauty." Fenris' voice is so wonderful; I love it when he whispers in my ear. That makes my whole body prickle. I stretch with pleasure and moan softly and damn, my voice sounds so sexy. And I am feeling very sexy, hey it´s my dream…

His lips kiss my shoulders and my arms and hands, he caresses every finger of my hand with his soft, hot lips. Affectionately he strokes my hair to the side and nibbles at my earlobe.

Carefully I turn around to him. Something is irritating me, why is he in full armor?

That is not normal for this kind of dream – normally in my dreams, he would wear a tunic or a really short and sexy panty maybe, but the whole armor, what is that supposed mean?

"Where have you been? I was looking for you yesterday!"

His big green eyes glance at me questioningly.

Internally, I pass out because of his challenging glace. I sit up in the bed and ouch, my body hurts, oh shit .I am awake, that is not a dream. Fenris is here for real and he thinks that I am Hawke.

I am wide awake within seconds.

"I have to do something." I clear my throat, because my voice still sounds like in my dreams.

Mirror, I must find a mirror, fast!

"You know that I don´t like it when you go all on your own, Sarah!"

"Excuse me; I would like to freshen up a little."

I get up fast and again that muscle ache goes through my body, oh those bloody steps. I ignore his irritated expression and go to the bathroom as fast as my hurting legs carry me.

Well, Sarah, do you know where the bathroom is?

As Bodahn sees me, he comes to me and blushes.

"Lady Hawke" he looks down to the bottom.

White lie, fast….

"I want to wash myself but there are no towels left!"

Hopefully he gets it.

"So sorry for that, go to the bathroom I will bring you some."

"Thank you, Bodahn, I will do that."

Oh right, I will go like a snail to find the bath with his help, that is a good plan.

Very slowly I go down the steps and soon the dwarf is back again with some towels in his arms.

I reduce my speed even more so he has to go in front of me. We pass the library and behind that another door and a small staircase lead us to the bathroom.

"Thanks, Bodahn." I take the towels, open the door and go inside the room.

I wait some time until I hear his steps move away from the door and then I rest assured.

The bathroom is big, bigger than I had imagined it. But that is not important at the moment, I only want to look in the mirror that stands in the corner!

I put the towels to the others that I can see in a locker and then go straight over to the mirror.

My hand covers my eyes and very slowly I take it away finger per finger and take a look…

"Oh! Holy shit."

My mouth drops open wide as I see myself in the mirror.

Now I know why my whole body hurts, it had gained muscles.

I even look taller and my body is perfectly defined.

My legs are sporty and sexy.

I _am_ my Hawke.

I go to the basin, put some water in it and wash my face. It feels good and with wet hands I comb through my hair. There still is this damn hot elf in my bedroom, so I decide to wash myself from head to toe. I´m totally lost in thoughts as I go back to the bedroom.

Fenris-

He is sitting on the edge of the bed and looks at me with passion in his eyes.

His upper body is naked and on his lap there is a sheet he has put around his waist.

All his clothes are neatly piled up on a chair. I mean all of them!

Keep cool, Sarah you know what to do and you will not behave like a three year old girl and dance around in that room!

And he knows what to do like he proved it to you in your dreams...you look marvelous and you don´t need to be ashamed.

Slowly I go to the bed and stay in front of him.

He looks up to me and smiles, some strains of his white hair fall in his eyes and he has to blink.

My knees are weak and joggle like jelly. His hand caresses my thigh and softly and slowly moves under my shorts. This tickle that moves through my body is not from this world. I have the feeling that I have to come that very second. I feel my heartbeat directly in my clit. His hands are warm and they possessively caress my butt and my back. He stands up and removes me shorts and while doing so he strokes my side and my breasts. A moan escapes my mouth and I lower my gaze in shame. Oh, the sheet is lying down there on the floor and he pulls me against his body so I can feel his hard length on my stomach.

He is hard because of you! I try to come down. Never before had a man made me that horny as that former elf slave. With quaky hands, I caress his back and look at him with desire. His mouth finds mine and we melt into a heavenly kiss. With pleasure I open my lips for his tongue to play.

Seconds, minutes or hours gone by, I don´t know. He breaks the kiss and gently turns me around, strokes back my hair and covers my back with kisses and soft bites. Finally he does something that makes me completely lose my mind. He licks my back right on the spot above my backbone my legs give up, so intensive is this feeling I experience right now. He me up in his arms and lay me down on the bed.

"Do you know what are you doing to me, Sarah Hawke?"

I shake my head. "Show it to me!"

And that he does without hesitation. He kisses my body with addiction, my breasts, my stomach, my legs and as his mouth reaches the spot between my legs, my whole body is already shaken by the most insane orgasm I have ever had. Simply amazing.

As I open my eyes again, I get rid of those tears of joy in the corner of my eye, he smiles at me contently.

He is still very aroused, my admiring glance all over his muscular body, from this close, the Lyrium looks even more beautiful and it seems to have an independent existence. It seems to pulsate and flood over his body again and again. Like the blood in the veins, but in a wonderful, silver glistening color. As I caress the muscles on his stomach with my fingers, the Lyriumveins, I think I will name them Lyriumveins, begin to gleam in bright blue light on the part of his body that I was touching.

This man is a god and that he is the wet dream of many ladies and guys on our planet is very clear.

"What are you thinking about?" His words interrupt my thoughts.

"About, what I will do with you now!"

I have to smirk about his perplexed face and begin to lick his Lyriumveins up to his nipples and caress them passionately until they are hard. Slowly and nervously my hand moves to his lap and covers his pulsating hard length and begins to massage it. He rears up with pleasure and becomes even harder in my hand. And I become even more wax in his hands while I think about the things that are still to come. He cuts of the massage and pulls me on top of him.

Our lips taste each other in a sweet kiss. I lift myself up a little so he can find his way inside me. I have to scream with lust as he fills me completely with his rock hard length. First I move slowly, then faster and harder. His face and body show me that he likes what I am doing and that fills me with pride. His hands roam all over my body and then they move to my butt and knead it what makes me even hornier. Carefully, he leads me to the side and our bodies part for a short moment, but then he is on top of me and penetrates me.

Fenris is a passionate lover and in the next minutes we both come close to the point of no return.

My brain is in rest mode and I see fairies and colors. That was simply awesome!

Is it because I adore this man or is he the best lover I ever had?

I awake in his arms, my head on his upper body and I observe those wonderful Lyriumveins from up close. I hope and pray that this dream would last for eternity.

"We have to go!" he suddenly says.

"No! Why?" my voice sounds like the voice of a goatish child.

"We want to meet for breakfast at the Handged Man!"

Carefully he sits up on the edge of the bed. His hair is all messy from our lovemaking, my anger that we can´t lay here forever goes away and I giggle.

"What?"

I get up. Kneel right behind him and caresses his shoulder with my lips and stroke his hair to get it into order again.

"Sarah, please! Let us be on time at least this on time! And think about Isabela´s comments. I really don´t need to hear them."

"Oh that is a good reason."

I follow him bravely, go to the closet but before I open the door I take a quick look at him and this view makes my legs become weak again. Fenris is busy putting his clothes on.

Well, I open the closet so that he can´t see those clothes Isabela gave me and I feel sorry for Zevran´s booths. I have to find a good hiding place for them.

I don´t want to get back to my old life. Every day you hear about people getting lost, so now there is just one more….

I take leather pants and a tunic out, put it on like it´s normal for me. They fit and I feel fantastic in my new warrior body, a thought hits my mind: Can I fight? I´m not a sporting ace. Finally I put on the mail shirt and with two leather bands I make myself braids. And again a smile on his lips, I close the wardrobe door.

"Isn´t there anything missing? "A broad hint follows that very second as I see how he puts that really gigantic broadsword on his back.

I smile in confusion, take my sword and also the belt with the scabbard out of the closet. I fasten the belt around my hips and fix my sword.

The best thing is that I don´t cut my fingers as I put the sword into the scabbard. That thing looks sharper than hell.

I shrug for a second as I feel his hands on my shoulders.

"What did you do with your hair?"

I turn around "You don´t like it?"

"It´s a bit unfamiliar, but it´s…interesting."

I smile at him, then put on my new shoes and follow him down the stairs.

Anders meets us half way and looks at me with his eyes wide open.

Fenris' eyes become narrow as he sees the mage and then a winning smile appears on his lips.

"By the way, Anders, she _came t_wice!"

The mage bristles with anger.

Could we please behave like grownups now? Inwardly, I am totally enthusiastic about that fact that those two hammer guys argue because of me, but I can´t risk that they go for each other's throats. But if it had to be, then at least while covered in oil and half naked.

I like this thought!

"Sarah, I have to talk to you!"

Anders walks in my direction, looking at me with his wonderful deep brown eyes.

"Fenris, could you please let us alone for a moment? We will follow you in a short time."

Now my elf bristles with anger, but he follows my plea and leaves the estate, after a possessive kiss that makes my knees gone weak.

I look at him dreamily, but again it is Anders who takes my wrist and pulls me in my bedroom. That makes three times in less than 24 hours.

"How do you feel, Sarah?"

Well! What should I say? I had the most unbelievable sex with Fenris and can´t wait until he fucks me again. No, that's definitely not what Anders wants to hear from me.

"What do you mean exactly?"

"Physically and mentally."

"Oh! I have a bad ass muscle ache and I had some ugly dreams this night."

"It´s very interesting what has happened to you. You look like the Hawke we knew, but Justice still sees your alter ego."

"Does that mean you see two women?"

"A bit like that. Your aura from the other world is still very strong but I think as time goes by I will only see it when I ask Justice about you."

"Can I stay here?"

"You are the champion of Kirkwall, so it would be nice if you would stay here and I really don´t know how we can send you back."

I jump up and down and hug him.

"Anders, that is really the best message that I ever got."

Oh dear! Why is he looking at me like that? That is not good. I try to back off and break the hug, but he doesn't allow this to happen. His eyes are filled with passion, he opens his lips and comes dangerously close.

Oh shit! What can I do?

His lips caress mine softly.

Hey! Sarah, it´s just a game. I look over his shoulders to the door and cock my ears. I don´t hear anything and so I rejoin the kiss. And he is a damn good kisser.

As I feel his length get hard and press against my stomach, I hectically interrupt the kiss.

"Anders, please, don´t….I'm sorry for that."

His disappointed gaze hits me hard and I feel so bad.

"I know you love him…but if he ever hurts you again like he did three years ago, I will destroy him. And then you are mine."

Destroy, that´s a hard word.

Another thought hits me right in that second. Anders! DESTROY! There was something here!

It's a god thing I remembered this right now, so maybe I can calm him down talk him out if this.

"Anders, I´m always on your side, even if we don´t share the same bed, but please talk to me before you do something as blindfold as blow up the church, that would really not be the best thing to do."

Anders' jaw drops wide open and he looks at me with big eyes.

"What?"

"You know what I mean…"

I smile at him and this time I pull his wrist and take him with me…..

The End!?

I hope you like my little Story as much as I enjoy writing it for you ;-)

I would be happy to hear from you all…so please leave a review…


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